The Connected Parent book review, Part Two

Weaving Hope Into Heartache – A Parent’s Perspective

If you’re an adoptive parent like me who has had the benefit of training and education rooted in TBRI, then you know how essential The Connected Child is for preparing to parent children from hard places. But you also probably know how difficult it can be to make such a significant shift in your parenting approach because you’ve learned that the traditional parenting methods just don’t work for a child whose experienced trauma. You’re all too familiar with how challenging it can be to recall the practices in the midst of a difficult moment with your child. You have probably felt weary at times from trying to consistently follow what you learned in the book in everyday life. And – as I’ve heard from so many fellow adoptive parents – you have felt overwhelmed in trying to implement TBRI when you are parenting multiple children from hard places. As adoptive parents, we know better and we want to do better, but sometimes you just need a clarifying, comforting voice to help you believe you can get there. For me, that’s what this book was.

“Have you ever had a situation with your child go rapidly downhill and you couldn’t figure out how to regain control? I know I have. I try to remember what I’ve read, but in the stress of the moment, it all seems to slip away.”

I read those words and it was like oxygen to my soul. I thought to myself, “You mean even a parent highly trained in TBRI still struggles to get it right? I’m not supposed to have all the answers right there all the time?” I knew that in my head, but reading Lisa’s words allowed me to feeling it in my heart. And that was my experience again and again as Lisa shared stories from her own parenting, weaving a word of empathy and inspiration into my discouragement. With refreshing vulnerability and transparency, she shares the struggle and reality of parenting from a TBRI lens in the face of significant trauma, day in and day out, with multiple children. Out of that struggle came the clarity to identify specific steps and tools that would be practical and accessible to adoptive parents seeking to utilize TBRI more effectively. From specific scripts to nurture activities, how to meet sensory needs, and how to adapt for older kids, it’s an excellent resource that I will not only review on a regular basis, but keep at the ready for the days when I need practical guidance and some heartfelt encouragement from someone who really gets it.

​I wish I’d had this book in the early days especially when our kids were newly home. But I’m so glad I have it now because I need it just as much almost five years after our son joined our family through adoption. If you’re an adoptive parent, or a hopeful adoptive parent, I highly recommend The Connected Parent as an essential resource to equip and encourage you in the journey of leading your child to a place of healing where your relationship can be rooted in trust and connection.